Secrets of the Dutch speech: watch out for english!

One of the things, that makes life of a freshman expat in the Netherlands easier is the fact, that almost everyone here speaks English. Good or bad, but they do. Thanks to that you don't feel excluded from an everyday life and you don't have to worry about going to a shop, bakery, hairdresser, doctor, the city hall, bank or meeting your neighbor in an elevator. The problem appears, when you start learning the language. At the beginning you might often notice, that while you're struggling to make an effort and actually say something in (a very broken) Dutch, your interlocutor (hearing your misery and weird foreign accent) is gonna rush to end your suffering and he/she'll answer you... in English! And how am I supposed to practise my Dutch?

It's even worse if you're gonna mix both of these languages at the same time. This is exactly how I once in a restauratnt instead of ordering still (non sparkling) water told the waitress to keep quiet (in Dutch "still!" means "quiet!"). I also found it very confusing for the first few times, when I heard Maurice answering his phone. His friends were calling and he picked up with "Hi! Who is it?"... I didn't know what's going on. "Who is it?"!?! Why are you asking that? You know very well who is calling you... you just said his name! At that time I didn't know yet, that what he actually asked was: "Hoe is 't?" (sounds exactly the same as "who is it") that means... "How are you?/How's it going?"

In the Dutch language there's quite a lot of words that sound similar to English and they often have of course the same meaning. However there's few traps, because though the might sound the same, they mean something completly different. And than it's very easy to make faux pas. Just imagine to confuse "dear" with dier (an animal), "bill" with bil (buttock), heet ("to be named" or "hot") with "hate" or fok (to breed) with... "fuck". These are so called "false friends". 

False or not, some people actually really like them. My teacher lately told us about one of her former students from US. That girl just loved two Dutch words. Though she was overweight in the Netherlands she could easly say: "Ik ben slim" ("I'm smart") and if she'd bumped in to someone by an accident she'd apologise with: "Sorry, hoor!". Now "hoor" basicly means "listen", but in this context it would make more less "I'm sorry, really!". The trick is: it sound the same as "whore"! And you'd think she's such a nice and innocent girl ;)

Secrets of the Dutch speech: OMG!

I came to the conclusion that my ear is very selective. My brain did not recognise for the whole year some phrase (or rather an exclamation) till one day, when my friend used it in a conversation and later explained it to me. Since that moment I hear Sjonge jonge (pronounce with very soft "sh" and silent "g"... well, it's not the easiest one ;)) Even Maurice is using it quite often, so how the hell did I manage not to hear it?!

Maybe my brain did assume it's just some weird sound with no meaning or that it's in some other language. After all it doesn't really sound like dutch, don't you think? For me it could be same well chinese... Neverthless I did not notice this few letters as something that would make sense.

But what does it actually mean? I was told that it means something like english "Oh my God!". I would also add to this "Holly crap!", ""Oh, boy!", "My, my!" or sometimes "What on Earth!". Basicly it's a kind of expression you can use any time you hear or see something weird/surprising/funny/shocking/unbelievable (or unbelievably stupid) and you simply have no words to comment on that. Just sjonge jonge!

Secrets of the Dutch speech: "on this bike!"

About a week ago I made quite funny language discovery. After a delicious dinner at my mother-in-law, Maurice and Rens started discussing about something in Dutch. They were very amused, talking about our friend's tourist scam. I didn't pay much attention to that, cause I was fully focused on enjoying an excellant cheesecake from Bistro mama's recipe. By the way, i really recommend this cake! Everyone loved it ;) But back to my story: in one moment something caught my attention... Suddenly I heard well known forme word fiets.

A bicycle? What bicycle?! What the hell are they talking about? With all the respect to Stiemmie, but I have big difficulties imagining him to have something in common with a bike. So why were they laughing: "Ohh... on THIS bike!..." while talking about him? On what bike? I had to abandon my cheesecake to check what is all about. 

It appeared, that Dutch expression op die fiets, doesn't mean "on this bike" at all. It's rather something like "with this manner"! So simple and so Dutch, don't you think? ;) Find me any other country, where the bicycle would be so popular (maybe except Vietnam). In the Windmill Country bikes are such an obvious tool, that they even found their place in this common expression. Not like in english speaking countries (and even polish) "this way". No no... not this way my dear. In Holland a bicycle is more important than the road/way itself. So... op die fiets!

Secrets of the Dutch speech: "we're feeling sooo good"

I gotta say that studying Dutch is quite fun. Not only it sounds weird (or funny sometimes), you kind a have a feeling like it's a mix of all different languages, mostly German and English with a bit of French or Spanish. At least for me. I've been studying all oth these before so now I'm looking for similarities. Once I even found a small conection with... Japanese ;)

I do have holiday now, but I still have to keep practising, so I won't forget too much during next 2,5 months. That's why I'll torture you a bit with my thoughts about the Dutch language. I started lately with lekker and today I'll continue with one of my favorite words, which is also quite popular anyway. And very pleasant. Or maybe I should say: cozy, cause this is what gezellig means.

Thinking about something cozy we propably imagine some soft pillows, few romantic candles, warm blanket, fireplace and a glas of red wine. Isn't it? Probably. But again, gezellig fits perfectly to way more situations. Laying on a grass and enjoying the sun... A dinner in a nice atmosphere with a family or friends... Gossips with a friend over a cup of coffee and a cake... One word - blissfully! Everytime when we feel sooooo freaking pleasant that we'd like to keep this moment for a bit longer, that gezellig is the word. And of course the house itself can be also very gezellig. 

Mmm... that feels nice... Now, I wish you all a very nice evening, while I'm getting ready for a dinner at my mother-in-law's. I'm sure it's gonna be very lekker and very gezellig. As always.

By the way: I passed the exam ;)

Secrets of the Dutch speech: The most universal word

First step of my Dutch language course is almost finished. In a week I'm having an exam, though I'm not really stressed yet (Maurice is! ;)). Now it's time for some extra studying, so I thought I'll share my new knowledge with you guys.

A little riddle: What is the most common and most often used word in Dutch language?

Well my dear, you might be a slightly surprised... it's lekker. In any dictionary if you check, you'll find meaning of the word as "tasty". But lekker is something more than that. And it would be a bit weird to use it so often since the Dutch cuisine is... well, not that spectacular. Anyway, in Holland anything can be lekker.

• food of course is lekker
• weather (though it doesn't happen often) can be lekker
• partying almost always is lekker
• our jeans or dress can lay on as lekker
• cycling, swimming or doing any other sport is most likely lekker
• even more... cleaning, working, renovating house or some houseworks can be lekker as well (though this is rather sarcasm)
• a buttocks may be the most lekker 
• we can also go with something lekker

In general almost any activity can be "tasty". Same anything that we enjoy. In polish we also tend to say "delicious fun" sometimes, though it's a rather unique way to say it. In Holland it's the most obvious reaction. 

Now summarizing, if you want to give some possitive feedback in Dutch, feel free to use lekker. And if that doesn't work, than leuk ("cool") would do. 

Mobilization

The Monday news acted like a grist to my mill (or maybe a wind to my windmill, after all we're in Holland). Looking for a job (yeah... I'm still jobless and it makes me feel like the last lame duck) is focusing now only to a part time jobs or some temporary jobs, few hours a week. If I'm supposed to start studing the dutch language soon, than finding a normal job would be quite useless. Anyway the nice lady from the Inburgering suggested the same.

The fact that I do understand more and more in the weird language is amazing. I feel so proud of me when I think of the Monday meeting, when the whole conversation was in dutch and I had to ask for tarnslation in english only once. I prefered to ensure myself if I did understand the terms of the contract well before signing it. Even the test went quite well. At least that's what the lady said, when she was complementing me. I do realize that she probably say something like that to anyone who knows already some of the language, to keep them motivated, neverthless it worked. I felt very good after the meeting. It was worth the whole efford we did put into this together with Maurice:

• visit at the information of Inburgering just after I came to Holland
• getting the permanent residence permit from the IND
• copie of all formal documents and diplomas handed immidiately
• motivation letter (!!!) explaining our situation and my longing to become an intergrated part of the dutch society
• another visits and many calls to find out about the decision and postponing my appointment (by the way, I felt like a pain in the ass, which might be confirmed with the fact, that when Maurice called them after the Christmas, just after a short introduction they already knew it's about me)
• big wide smile and imploring eyes everytime I had any personal contact with someone from the the Inburgering

But I got it! I got what I wanted! The language course I'm gonna start with the level A2, which actually makes sense for me, since that's the level I shall be after finishing the book I did study from. That's also the reason I thought it would be good to go through it again and systematize the knowledge I've already gained. Unfortunately my dictionary does not say anything about the articles with the nouns and I always have a lot of problems with them. I went through the whole book and write down all the het nouns. Suddenly it went clear, that everytime I was going to the bakery I was making the biggest possible mistake: "that bread". Bread has the het article. Plus i was always pointing at the loaf away behind the counter, stubornly saying deze (which means "this" not "that" and is used for the nouns with the article "de")... Grotesque.

Cross your fingers for my improvments (or the other language mistakes, so I could share it with you).

Let the language be your guide

A few days ago I finished my first study book for dutch language, so it theoreticlly means that I reached level A1. I want to highlight the word theoretically, because due to omnipresence of the english language, talking and understanding the Dutch is going well slooooooow. I'm doing better with writing and reading. Still slowly, but I'm improving. I even started correctly pronouncing (though not always) the cruel dutch sounds, like guttural "g", which for me sounds more less like "hrrr" just before you spit (sorry for this unappetizing comparison, but it's best describing the sound). I still can not deal with the "ui" and I feel like it's just impossible to understand... Something in a way of "au", but not really... what the f** is wrong with that?!

I also finally know that in the coming year I'll be starting the real dutch course thanks to financial support of the City Hall. The application to the Inburgering I did send already just after I moved to Nijmegen, but  because of some formalities, which I mentiond before, I go the invitation for the appointment only this Monday (of course! in Holland nothing can be done without a prescheduled appointment). Than they're gonna let me know what are the criteria and possible forms of my education. The only problem is, that they planned for me the meeting next Monday at 2 pm, while I have a flight to Poland on the same day just two hours later from Eindhoven, which is away about 1,5 hour travel time with the public transportation. It can not go like this. We called the Inburgering already few times this week to ask them to postpone the meeting. I still don't know the date of a new appointment, so probably it's gonna be after the New Years. You may ask why am I getting so stressed and panic, keeping calling them and so on? Well, from the well informed and reliable source I know that the budget for the courses for emigrants and going to end with this year in most (if not all) of the dutch cities, including Nijmegen. Luckly yesterday we were informed that we shouldn't be worried: even if I'd sign the contract in 2012, I'm still gonna get it, causeI'm already registered and included into the budget.

And now, since we are already talking about the language issues, I'll share with you one of my epic fails with the dutch language. The other time we were having a nice family dinner in a japanese restaurant. When I asked a waitress for a glass of water, she asked after if I want a sparkling one. I reacted involuntarily with english "Still!" adding a horizontal hand gesture to make my answer more descriptive. The waitress looked at me confused and quickly disapeared in the kitchen, and Rainier (Liza's boyfriend) burst out laughing. I didn't really know what was it about, till a few weeks later I found out how to create an imperative in Dutch. It appeared that in Dutch "Stil!" means "Be quiet!". I literally told the waitress to shut up and the hand gesture definitely did not help to interpret it correctly...